That fateful day of 14th August exactly a year ago has thus far remained my life's most indelible anamnesis. As vivid as an image permanently etched inside my head, recurrently replayed to the most livid effect, it has become my worst nightmare. Only that it is real.
What followed could only be described as an amalgamation of anxiety, fear, angst, and defeat. On most days the only straw I could cling on to was hope, and there were times even hope seemed to elude us.
The emotional roller-coaster was trying, sapping one's energy and making one feels hollow. Not just confused, helpless, but hollow, as if there is nothing left in your soul.
Three operations, one stroke, two seizures, and numerous attacks of infection later, mom survived, albeit losing her right leg, the ability to move and talk, and most heartbreaking of all, the ability to recognise us and to comprehend our speech. Though fully conscious, she has lost what many term the quality of life, the very purpose of living.
Then, rather miraculously on the morning of 3rd July 2010, thing turned to the better. Since then, mom is able to comprehend our words and recognise the people she has once forgotten. Nothing could describe my elation at that moment of time.
It was a turning point not only for her, but also for me, for I was on the verge of giving it all up.
I attribute my pulling through the challenging period to the unwavering, generous support and encouragement from people all around me. And the fighting spirit of mom. She couldn't utter a single word yet, but I know, because I'm her son.
(Sorry for not filling my blogs regularly. I have since moved on to facebook.)
Aaron Tan
14 August 2010
