14 September 2009
It has been a month since that fateful day.
My mom has been lying on the bed in the hospital since then.
Today, they will transfer her to Rec Ci Hospital. My maid will arrive this week. I hope she will be able to go for some training during my 1-week recess, so that I can attend the training as well.
The past few weeks were lousy. When everybody was telling me to take good care of myself, I had to fall sick. Really bad bout of flu, high fever, headache. One came after another.
There was one night I was screaming in pain when my headache struck. Really 'lame'. The last time I had such an acute headache was when I was a school boy, and that was years ago.
My whole body was so tired that basically I dragged myself everywhere I went. I dozed off at every opportunity, on the bus and train. One day when I visited mom, I dozed off on her bed while holding her hands, in the hospital.
When you are supposed to be strong, such mockery is laughing in your face.
I refused to be laughed at though. I talked to her non-stop. I sang to her even. All the Cantonese songs she used to hear me singing at home, hoping that she would recognise them -- Danny Chan's, George Lam's, Leslie Cheung's, Roman Tam's, Sam Hui's. All the oldies.
When I am at home, I play Danny Chan's songs on the computer.
There must be hopes.
Last week, she started to move her thumb on one hand, and then day by day, the other
fingers on one hand, and then the fingers on the other hand.
She is now able to squeeze lightly when I hold on to her hands. She is beginning to even move her wrist a little; I can feel it.
Hopefully, she is able to gain back control over her body bit by bit, including talking.
But what I most desire is her ability to recognise us, which at the moment, seems to be just a hope.
"How can you forget me?" I keep repeating this to her.
I always have this disbelief that a person can suddenly forget the people he knows. I can't believe my mom can forget me, the person she has known and has been living with for almost half a century.
It is an unbearable pain that goes beyond words.
"How can you forget me, mom?"
Aaron
My mom has been lying on the bed in the hospital since then.
Today, they will transfer her to Rec Ci Hospital. My maid will arrive this week. I hope she will be able to go for some training during my 1-week recess, so that I can attend the training as well.
The past few weeks were lousy. When everybody was telling me to take good care of myself, I had to fall sick. Really bad bout of flu, high fever, headache. One came after another.
There was one night I was screaming in pain when my headache struck. Really 'lame'. The last time I had such an acute headache was when I was a school boy, and that was years ago.
My whole body was so tired that basically I dragged myself everywhere I went. I dozed off at every opportunity, on the bus and train. One day when I visited mom, I dozed off on her bed while holding her hands, in the hospital.
When you are supposed to be strong, such mockery is laughing in your face.
I refused to be laughed at though. I talked to her non-stop. I sang to her even. All the Cantonese songs she used to hear me singing at home, hoping that she would recognise them -- Danny Chan's, George Lam's, Leslie Cheung's, Roman Tam's, Sam Hui's. All the oldies.
When I am at home, I play Danny Chan's songs on the computer.
There must be hopes.
Last week, she started to move her thumb on one hand, and then day by day, the other
fingers on one hand, and then the fingers on the other hand.
She is now able to squeeze lightly when I hold on to her hands. She is beginning to even move her wrist a little; I can feel it.
Hopefully, she is able to gain back control over her body bit by bit, including talking.
But what I most desire is her ability to recognise us, which at the moment, seems to be just a hope.
"How can you forget me?" I keep repeating this to her.
I always have this disbelief that a person can suddenly forget the people he knows. I can't believe my mom can forget me, the person she has known and has been living with for almost half a century.
It is an unbearable pain that goes beyond words.
"How can you forget me, mom?"
Aaron
[Update: The hospital has postponed transferring my mom to Ren Ci, due to low white blood cells count.]
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